The Dreaded Friend Zone
Ever heard of the friend zone? I bet you’re in one now, but I hope for your sake you’ve never had to feel what it’s like to be there. #Oh the horror!!!.
In popular culture, the “friend zone” refers to a platonic relationship where one person wishes to enter into a romantic relationship while the other does not. Let me break it down for you ” it’s a place beautiful women put men who they decide they could NEVER date, sleep with or simply carry out any type of physical relationship with” so basically you’re fucked.
The Friend zone is basically a pre-emptive rejection, I’ve landed in the friend zone MANY TIMES *covers face* at a point my buddy @ifeabunike nicknamed me “mayor of the friend zone” from the television sitcom Friends. Yes I was that damaged
The friend zone apart from being a guy’s worst nightmare still has some benefits but it sounds more like brochure you’d read for a super-shitty hotel in the bad part of nigeria
Come check out the “friend zone” today!!! During your stay you’ll get to
Listen to a beautiful girl vent to you about all of her ridiculous little problems
Do little favours and chores for her as she pleases
Deal with constant rejection from her
Constantly and woefully attempt to raise yourself up as she often teases and puts you down
Not kiss her
Sleep alone, in your bed, most likely thinking about her (while she spends her night with someone else, not thinking about you for a second)
Watch her flirt with other guys right in front of you, playfully chatting with them and establishing a connection *tongue out
Live in a state of complete irrational hope, constantly thinking “oh am getting closer to her, I just need to turn the corner then she will fall for me
And even have her ruin the rare chances you get with other women.. Right when she sees that someone might steal her faithful servant she pounces in there and starts to do things that will make you think she just realised how much she likes you and your dumb ass will fall for it.
*evil grin* Please enjoy your stay with Us
Mine wasn’t that bad, atleast I had friends who knew what she was doing and told me, but still the fear of losing her kept me where I belong and will always belong in her life “the friend zone”. I stayed there for close to 3years hoping we’ll work something out.
Friend zone means holding her shit while she shops for underwear you will never see her in.
A lot of people are currently in the friend zone without even realising it. Once the friend zone is established, it is said to be difficult to move beyond that point in a relationship. Scary right? You better be scared. NIGGA NOTHING FOR YOU! NOTHING!!!
The woman enters the house followed by a guy. The guy is all smiles thinking that great acts of intimacy are about to occur. But, alas, the woman launches into a rant about men.
“My ex-boyfriend was such a jerk,” she began. “Why is it that men treat me so roughly?”
The guy then transformed into Mr. Sensitive. “There, there,” he purrs. “They do not know how great you are! You are beautiful, lovely, enchanting, dazzling in every way, and they are idiots when they cannot see it.”
“You are so nice! What a friend you are!” she squeals. “Let me tell you more of my problems with men…”
And so the guy, who was excited because great acts of intimacy would occur, leaves severely disappointed with a hollow feeling echoing throughout him. “I thought that through friendship, love would eventually spring. How wrong I was! A friend she sees, a friend you be.”
When he entered the house, the guy noticed a sign above the door. At the time, he was too excited to even CONSIDER reading it. Now that he was leaving, he read it. “So true!” he cried. For the sign above the door read:
Friend Zone – Abandon hope all ye who enter!
Well like I said before, the dreaded ‘friend zone’ gives you the benefit of assessing some things, like whether or not a relationship may truly ‘fit’ in the lives of two people.
Do you want to learn how someone communicates?
Allow them to operate in the ‘friend zone’ for a period of time.
Do you want to learn how someone operates under adversity? Allow them to operate in the ‘friend zone’ for a period of time.
Do you want to learn the habits of a person? Allow them to operate in the ‘friend zone’ for a period of time.
The ‘friend zone’ gives two people the opportunity to build a foundation before adding any other complexities into the relationship (i.e., sex, commitment, other superficial expectations).
Fuck that shit !!!! Dude expect you’re that good in building attraction don’t let yourself fall into this zone. But wait seriously how does a guy even set out pursuing active friendship with a girl? What have you been smoking?
Experience has taught me that working and waiting for a woman’s ‘settlement’ isn’t worth it!!!!!!
You wanna change things right? Grab your crotch, you still got your ball? Then act like it.
When you meet a woman you’re interested in, I want you to first consider this:
should I really be interested so soon? What has she done to prove her worthiness of my interest? Apart from looking good, which will always be in their arsenal.
So now go ahead, talk to her, have fun with the conversation, bring emotion into the interaction, don’t play it so safe, don’t worry so much about her liking you.. Is like playing an ever-growing tennis match, you’re playing with each other, you guys start of close to the net volleying, testing each other out,
You take the first step, moving back from the net a little bit, she returns the shot, as she takes a small step too.
That’s her showing her interest too, you can take it up a little bit, taking another step as you move towards ground strokes instead of volleys. And then she does the same, you can kick it up even more. Make sense?
If you serve the ball and she’s there mopping like uju abanya, pick your tennis and use the door please!!!